Tid Bits…

Same Sex Marriage- What Do I Think?? 

I have been asked the same question several times over the last couple of days. What is my stance on the President’s reversal on same-sex marriage? My response is always the same. I don’t have a stance. If it is allowed, I would like to just leave my hands free of stones on this one, please.

I do not know what it is like to be a gay or lesbian man or woman praying to be granted the right to stand beside a significant other in a hospital bed, possibly on the verge of death. I do not know what it is like to be a man or woman not able to share or look forward to sharing health benefits with the person that I love and have chosen to spend my life with. I do, however, know what it is like to be ridiculed and belittled for being born a certain way. I know all too well the feeling that comes along with being considered less than human and therefore denied privileges in a country that promises liberty and justice for all.

So…I don’t have a stance. I simply say…find the peace inside of yourself that willfully supports allowing all people to enjoy the promises that were made by the founders of this country- however they may be appropriately interpreted in this modern society.



The Magic of Christmas

Dear Santa,

The most horrible thing that you ever would want to think happened to me today. I was cleaning out our hall closet- you know the one with the squeaky door downstairs? The one that always makes the weird sound when you try to sneak by it on your way to the tree?? Well…anyway…I was cleaning the top shelf, where Mom keeps all of her paperwork and things that she doesn’t want to throw away.

Amidst all of the rubble, I came across 18 letters, all neatly bundled together with a rubber band. Imagine my surprise when I recognized that they ALL bore my handwriting! Upon closer examination, I saw that they were all letters that I had addressed to the North Pole– starting in 1996!

After the initial shock wore off, things started to make sense to me-Like why I had never gotten everything I asked for on Christmases past. In 1995, I had the most beautiful Christmas that I had ever seen. It was a day full of warmth and love, full of presents, good food, and family. The next year, I asked to have the same type of Christmas, but that year, presents crowded the bottom of the tree, yet people were missing from the dinner table and the fireplace wasn’t quite as warm as the year before.

Every Christmas after that, we lost more and more place settings at the table, and the fire continued to get dimmer every year. I began to just ask for the same thing year after year- hoping that you had delivered it every Christmas morning. But I would wake up, race to the tree and it wasn’t there.


Even my friends and neighbors began not to believe in the power of Christmas. Saddened by this, I decided that maybe I should ask for things more grown-up in 2000. I thought maybe wishing for magic was a little childish so I asked you for world peace that year, and the following fall, we were at war.

Though disheartened, I still wrote to you every single year, Santa. I thought you had ignored every single letter until now. I don’t know how all of them got up into the top of the closet and I don’t know why Mommy never mailed them all, but now, I know that you never granted any of my wishes because you never got them. So I have included them here and I will mail THIS letter myself.

Please bring back the magic of Christmas. Please bring peace into every family’s home…and every heart everywhere. Bring our troops home, feed those people who do not have enough to eat this holiday season, and help everyone to BELIEVE IN THE REAL REASON FOR THIS SEASON AGAIN. And next year, please let us start to see the world come together in perfect harmony. That’s not too much to ask…is it, Santa?


What Is It With Black Men & Police???

Ok- I just can’t take it anymore. I have to ask—what is it with black men and the police? I have had this conversation NUMEROUS times with friends, boyfriends, parents…etc…and I just can’t help that I feel like this issue is not adequately explained or appropriately handled. Why is it that when a black man (and maybe this goes for all minorities- OR maybe it’s just a man thing) is pulled over- he IMMEDIATELY starts in on how it’s discrimination- how it’s not his fault?

I mean, I don’t deny that racial profiling exists, but sometimes it gets a little ridiculous. In some instances, officers are NOT engaging in harassment, but pure LAW ENFORCEMENT. If you are breaking the law- you are not exempt from consequences because you feel like you can pull the race card every time that siren and those flashing lights catch you.

Now, I am aware that I am NOT a man in any way, shape, or form…so maybe that’s why I just can’t understand, but if anyone has anything to say that will clear this issue up for me…please weigh in…




Playin’ Possum…

…Inspired by Real Events


So…about two weeks ago, I ran into a slight problem…OK, a HUGE problem…I came home in the middle of the night to find A HUGE POSSUM CHILLIN’ IN MY FRONT YARD!

I guess HE saw it as a bit of a prooblem too, because in the middle of the night, he should have the freedom to roam around wherever he pleases, right? After waiting all day for humans to finally go to sleep, he has to now run into one while he’s out looking for food.

Anyway…I digress.

Well, this intruder scared me so bad, that I started staying at work for an extra FIVE HOURS at night  just so that I could go home after the sun was up. I am in a city all by myself and I don’t get off work until midnight. So this was my only option…or so it seemed.

And just in case you’re laughing at me for being so scary– I have to tell you, if you haven’t seen a possum up close and personal before- Let me tell you that the good Lord did NOT have mercy on this animal in the looks department. It is THE MOST HIDEOUS ANIMAL YOU COULD EVER SEE. Although it is not a rodent, it is the equivalent of A HUGE RAT!!

So yeah…I wasn’t risking running into that thing again.

Anyway…while I was dying of sleep deprivation, I realized that maybe there was something to learn from this. If you know anything about possums, you know that their defense against danger is to “play dead”. Instead of facing danger or fear head-on…they simply stick their tongues out, lay down and pretend as if they have died until the danger is gone.

I realized that not only was I playing dead in THIS situation…not facing my fear head on- but I had been avoiding a few things in everyday life as well.

So I thought I would ask my readers…what have YOU been avoiding- or giving up on? What struggles have you been dodging while “playing dead”? Just a question for you to ponder upon.. because at the end of the day, that possum is minding its own business while I’m losing sleep- just like your life isn’t getting better while you’re letting your enemies prevail.



lOVe iS A fUNnY liTtLe ThInG…..

Love Bugs

Love is a funny little thing…isn’t it?
A mischievous, sneaky, frustrating and…funny little thing.
When you pull, it pushes-
When you compromise, it’s unyielding.
When you give up- it begs your return.

Love is SUCH a funny little thing.

When you’re looking for it, it hides from you.
When you are tired of playing with it…it cries for your attention.

BUT- what if it’s…not so funny?
What if it’s YOU that adds the humor to this relationship you have with Love?

What if instead of pulling, you actually SHOULD be pushing?
And what if you should stay sometimes instead of leaving?

What would happen if you just STOPPED looking- you think maybe it would just come?
Or if you paid enough attention, do you think you’d realize it was already there all along..?


Wouldn’t that be the funniest….little…thing?


Tomorrow’s post will probably be a hard point of view to sell, but I feel strongly about my perspective- which is why I am presenting it. I hope you will subscribe and read as I talk about how we, as women, THINK we are running things…but we just MIGHT need to step our game up a notch….Here’s a sneak peek into how I’m going to approach this….

“As women, so many times, we find ourselves figuratively washing the car, filling the gas tank up, and adjusting the steering wheel, just to let men get into the driver’s seat- which begs the question- what are we really running?”

Hope to see ya tomorrow!!!! Have a great Tuesday!

[This is an email that was sent to me at work on August 31, 2011- Felt the need to share]
Yesterday, a friend of mine suffered the consequences of a momentary lapse of awareness – one that is probably familiar to many of us who are so reliant upon, even obsessed with our blackberries or iphones:
He was walking to a meeting in downtown Chicago, looking down at his phone and searching for a particular contact or email.  Thus distracted, he stepped off the curb and was hit by a city bus.  He suffered broken feet, a broken leg, broken nose, jaw and cheek bones.  He is undergoing extensive surgery today that will leave him with plates in his face, his jaw wired shut and casts on his legs.
As I left my battered, swollen friend’s hospital room last night, I felt a chilling shudder.  And I hope many of you are feeling the same as you read this.  How many times a day are we compelled to look at our devices, even when it’s precisely the wrong time to do so?   Whether it’s the pressing needs of a story or an irrepressible desire to catch up with a friend, most of us would have to admit we have yielded to this compulsion.
Fortunately, my friend will recover, though it will be arduous.   If we continually succumb to similar instants of inattention, one or more of us may not be so “lucky”.

[Written on March 31, 2011- Location: NYC Subway]

I had barely noticed the woman sitting across from me on the subway. Hidden behind large framed sun glasses, it seemed that she didn’t want to be seen. For nearly half an hour, we rode in silence; me with my own thoughts- and her with hers. All of a sudden she removes her glasses and puts her hand up to her face- she begins caressing a fresh and open wound beneath her eye that I realized had been the reason for her sunglasses. Up until this moment, I had only seen scenes like this one in the movies. Tears  lines my eyes as I stared at her. Almost instinctively I started to form words in my mind to pass on to her- even though I knew she could not hear me.

The words “Love Yourself” and “Leave” came to my lips and I made a conscious effort to suppress them- to only say them in my mind. Though I have no way of knowing what her story is- or how that wound came to be on her face- I imagine that they came from someone she loved or someone who claimed to love her. The thought that this is the only type of love that some people ever experience in life makes me angry. I try, maybe in vain, to SEND her love through my thoughts and my silent prayers- I send it to her because until this world changes, that is the only thing that I know how to do.

One thought on “Tid Bits…

  1. “So FROM the heart of a woman, THROUGH the eyes of a journalist and OUT of the pen of a writer…”

    i love that!

    It is so clear that you want to inspire people, and you will.


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