Matters of the Heart…<3

A Throw-Back Kinda Love

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Baby was born in the eighties- late eighties off the cuff. So what she know about a nineties kinda love?
 
Well Baby saw her Momma and Daddy’s kinda love… an ever-so-sweet-and-full-of-flavor kinda love.
 
An oh-so-deep-and-everlasting kinda love.
 
Yeah, Baby knows somethin about THAT kinda love.
 
So before I met him, I knew I wanted that.
 
And the moment he stepped to me, I knew he HAD that.
 
Cat-Daddy is what I called him. He was smooth as can be.
 
It was love at first sight…chilled the inside of me.
 
Had that nineties kinda swag, Head cocked to the side.
 
Told myself I couldn’t fight this, even if I tried.
 
In his eyes, I saw darkness that once knew light…like he remembered what life used to be like.
 
Like he remembered when hip-hop used to have life. Like he remembered when R & B used to be nice.
 
He reminded me of something I thought I’d never get back, like the sweetest melody on a long forgotten track.
 
He reminded me of a time. He reminded me of a place…back when men still had game and women knew how to play.
 
When Summertime was still hot…when New Kids first came out on the block.
 
When drive-ins were first dates . When Kid and Play were class acts rockin high top fades.
 
I was just a child, fascinated by fast cars and pretty lights…by the effervescent feeling of those lost, forgotten nights.
 
Those nights filled with laughter- long converations on the phone.
 
Full of games of Hide-n-Go-Get-It and racin home before the street lights came on.
 
Yeah, he was all that…all that PLUS some more…
 
He opened up my heart- unraveled memories from my core.
 
He reminded me of ….
 
a nineties kinda love…
 
Yeah, just like my Momma and Daddy’s kinda love…
 
Like that oh-so-sweet-and-full-of-flavor kinda love…
 
Somethin like that oh-so-deep-and-everlasting kinda love.
 
My very own retro, throw-back kinda love.

 Just what I had been hopin’ for and dreamin’ of…

 

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Love Is Like Chocolate… 

The words “Covered in Chocolate” stir an emotion inside of me that just cannot be explained. Dark chocolate, milk chocolate, white chocolate…whatever the form…it just changes the whole dynamic of anything it touches. It doesn’t matter what it is, just the mere action of covering something with a substance that I hold in such high regard (chocolate) automatically makes anything DELICIOUS— even IRRESISTABLE.

 

I’d say Love is A LOT like chocolate.

 

It’s messy, but sexy- and a little bit of a guilty pleasure. We tell ourselves to stay away from chocolate to protect our waist lines, and we are warned to be cautious in how much love we immerse ourselves in to protect our hearts. BUT, because both have an irresistible appeal, we always fall prey to the invitation of their look, their smell…their comfort. We let out a sigh of satisfaction when taking a bite out of a delicate piece of chocolate- an exhale of relaxation when we swallow our pride and actually fall in love.

 

Yes, Love is JUST like chocolate.

 

Have you ever found yourself wondering just how you came to care about someone so much? So much that whatever they do, you still consider them to be amazing…even when it hurts, you still can’t seem to defy their magnetic pull? If you’re honest with yourself, you can meet someone and deem them just a friend, but then as time goes on, your love starts to wrap itself around them. It starts out as a fine drizzle…then slowly, they become more and more enticing as they absorb more and more of your soul. Your heart opens up a little more, and more love begins to pour out, covering them from the tops of their heads to the bottom of their feet- slowly they become drenched. And it’s not something that you can control…it’s a natural gravitational pull between your inner love machine and their bare exterior.

 

Just as strawberries taste a little sweeter when covered in chocolate—friendships become a little deeper when covered in love.

 

And this is not something that should be feared as is commonly believed. It is a valuable lesson to learn that your ability to love makes you human. And, in the same way that your chocolate choice speaks to your personal style, the WAY you love defines WHO YOU ARE.

 

So many of us live in fear- depriving ourselves of the ability to hold on to the sweet essence of life. Our senses will thank us when we finally give in…because life tastes better when it’s covered in LOVE.

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Love doesn’t always deal you a perfect set of cards, but just keep playing…

23…

The year of 23 has truly been a learning experience for me…especially when it comes to Matters of the Heart…I have loved and I have lost…and to my surprise, I am still here…ready to do it all again. After all, that’s the stuff life is made of 🙂

This is a letter that I did not have the guts to sign, seal, OR deliver…but I will post it just to get it out…unbeknownst to the person who inspired these emotions…I post in the hopes that someone will find solace in a situation where love was lost.

Dear Love,

When I was a little girl, I used to make up stories. I would think them in my head and write them down on paper. My imagination became my safe haven and blank pages became the refuge for my dreams and ambitions- protected from the harsh realities of the world around me. It’s like I came into this world with my own ideas of how things should be, and when the world disappointed me, I would just fall back on my perfect thoughts.

Now I am an adult, and up until a little while ago, I found myself with those same tendencies- living inside of my head- seldom even noticing that life was going on outside of my brain. You may wonder why I’m telling you all of this, but I have a point, and I’m getting to it.

This might seem all cliche-ish- but when I met you, it was like for the first time, I saw my dreams OUTSIDE of my head. And I don’t mean to suggest that you are perfect- I don’t  mean to say that you’re everything that I always dreamed of, because no one is perfect…and I was never dreaming of finding the perfect man. What I found in you was the same thing I found when staring at a blank page- unlimited possibilities. You popped me back into reality- or maybe you introduced me to reality for the first time. That might not make any sense to you, but I tuned the world out for most of my life because it wasn’t speaking my language…and then you came along and penetrated that space between my world and yours.

Now that you are leaving, I can’t let you go without saying thank you. And I know that I have said it before- but I have said it half-heartedly…and you are hardly the person that I want to keep something from- so here is all that I have in my heart to give to you- I want you to walk away from me knowing that you changed my life. Please don’t take that lightly- it’s not something that people can say everyday.

You did it just by being you- you made me believe that the dreams that are in my head can be my reality if I create them in the world. I have done things in the last year that I wouldn’t have even thought myself capable of doing. The reason I was able to do them is because you saw me and cared enough to stir me up a little bit. Now I know who I am and where I want to be. Most importantly, I know how to get there. And of course these things were inside of me all along…but you pulled them out of me and put them on the table…and now I can SEE what I’m working with- and just do it.

I don’t believe in coincidences. I don’t believe in “by chance” happenings. I believe that you were meant to come into my life, if only for that one reason- to show me what my life COULD be…so I’m letting you know…it worked.

You might think that I’m giving you too much credit…but I recognize the hand of God when I see it…and although His hand guided you to me…you carried out the task that no one could before you… And I thank you- so much…

6 thoughts on “Matters of the Heart…<3

  1. way to go sissy!! i like the love like choclate blog. i love that your inspired to keep writting and keep coming up with all of these new ideas and themes. Its a long time coming but you finally got it together and i absolutely love it. You get two thumbs up from me. Keep being inspired and go for cloud 9 make a right turn for the moon and a u turn at the biggest star and sit on it and just write. Love you sissy good job 🙂

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