Today, I just need you to stand there, shut up, and listen. And don’t look surprised. This might be my first time standing up to you, but it will not be my last. Today, I will put you back in your place, because you are not as important as you have come to think you are. You are only as important as I MAKE you.
So yes, just STAND THERE, SHUT UP, AND LISTEN. Listen to me tell YOU how beautiful I am. No, I am not the size that you think I should be. No, I am not the women in the magazines that I have brought home for you to stare at for hours upon end. I do not even look like the woman who stood before you two years ago.
NO, I AM ME. And if that is not good enough for you- if that falls short of your many expectations, then I feel sorry for YOU.
I’m tired of listening to your lies. You lie to me and tell me that no one will ever love me. That you’re the only one that I have to turn to when I have fallen short of my dreams of a so- called “beauty” that is unattainable. Your lies have silently ruined my life. But no more.
Today, I tell YOU that I am a beauty undefined- unexplained and therefore misunderstood. And you have no right to tell me that I am ugly just because I am a kind of beauty that you have never seen before or because your last woman didn’t look like me.
I am a beauty uninhibited by the strife of this world. I have not changed much since the day that I knew you were dissatisfied, because this beauty is here to stay. No matter if you love it or reject it…this beauty will stay the same.
And now that I have identified the problem, I know that it is YOU and not me. It is your lies that make me recognize myself as ugly. It is your constant game of compare/contrast that makes me walk out of the door each day unable to reach my full potential because I am pre-occupied with my self-pity. Self-pity that YOUR lies have forced upon me.
You are a handicap, crippling me in an unimaginable way- killing me with each passing day. Beginning with my self-esteem and ending with my life’s potential.
But today, I stand tall and tell you to STAND THERE, SHUT UP, and LISTEN. Listen as I dislodge the nail that holds you up. Listen as I tuck you away into the darkness of the closet. Listen as I close the door on the pain that you have caused.
The day that I realized that mirrors lie, was the day that I was empowered by my own ability to see my reflection in everything that was good. The woman that I see inside of my writing, inside of my work, inside of the compassion that I hold dear for those around me…that is the woman that I choose to see. That is the woman that I have begun to offer to those that I know and love.
So many girls, boys, women, and men suffer from low self-esteem and depression. If you are one of those people or if you know someone going through these things, please encourage them to find their reflection in all that is good…stop being held hostage by the mirror. Its only purpose is to stand there, to shut up, and to listen.